Find your Light: Don't Dwell in Your Darkness

When we are faced with hardships, it is easy to surrender to the stress. It is easy to stay in the dark places of your mind because if feels safe.  Each person’s darkness is different.  It can be worry, envy, anger stress about money…the list is endless.  In the dark, you think and think over and over of why they did this to you, what they did to you, and how you can exact revenge. My darkness manifests as anger and worry.  Anger seduces your mind into thinking you are in control and powerful.  Anger is crafty that way. The opposite is true.  In any dark state of mind, you are at your weakest.  Anger drains your sanity as well as what is most important…your mind.

Recently, I was reintroduced to an issue in my life.  Historically, I enjoyed my job and defined myself by my title.  I was pleasantly reminded that I am not the center of the universe at my institution.  I am part of moving part of which none I can control.  This ego rattling epiphany encouraged me to look for my personal value somewhere else.  Not my career.  My initial reaction was anger because this destructive emotion comes easier to me.  I paced, ranted, needless to say, I was belligerent.  In my delusional state, I had just enough sense to remind regain my sanity to sit down and write.  I wrote for an hour.   Then, I flipped through my journal and stopped on February 21, 2014:

I am more than my job.  I have to find time to explore more creative aspects of my life. I need time to write and create.  

*smack forhead* When you ask God/Jehovah/Universe/Thor for something….it happens. I sent energy out that I need time, now I have all summer. My cloud of darkness masked as self-pity and anger lasted for a few days.  I had to let in light and read, pray, refocus on what is important.  I revisited what I learned (but forgot) over the years.  Get a pen:

• God is preparing you for something greater.  I cringe when I hear these little nuggets of inspiration, but I am afraid this one is relevant.  I may not know why all of this happened but I have #faith that my needs will be met.  I will not starve nor will I suffer. 
• When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  I read this in Wayne Dyer’s book Excuses Be Gone. As I alter my perception from “how can they do this to me” to “shit happens”, I am confronted to know all things (good and bad) are temporary.  The anguish I put myself through was/is temporary.  What I have to offer is bigger than this or any situation. 

Do not dwell in your darkness.  Darkness can manifest as anger, greed, and depression.  It can be anything that keeps you from being you.  Turn on some light.  Find something or someone that brings you clarity and sanctuary.  My light comes from my relationship with God, Zenique, my family and close friends.  Surround yourself with those who bring you back to your truth with honesty and positivity.  

Darkness only last for a short time, so be encouraged and shine on….